Fine Line.

Don't worry, I will make sure I won't cross the line this time...

"Just like a star across my sky, just like an angel off the page, You have appeared in my life. Feel like I'll never be the same, just like a song in my heart, just like oil on my hands, oh, I do love you"-Like a star, Corinne Bailey Rae.

Blank.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous"-Corinthians 13.

It is 2:30am, just had a talk with a friend. I don't really know how I feel about it. Maybe that is the problem. I don't know how I feel. The thing about love is sometimes what you want isn't really what you need... Or actually anybody's need. It is even more ridiculous because I play out these stupid scenarios in my head over and over again like a broken cassette player that won't stop. Sometimes I feel like I am beginning to get somewhere, then all it takes is a little reminder and I fall right back to where I started. I feel like I ended everything on a bad note, like a melody that wasn't finished or a blank patch on the canvas. I want to paint something new, but the uncertainty haunts me because following the brush strokes of a familiar path seem much more comfortable. I don't know why I keep on having these dilemmas, maybe I am just a fool that doesn't want to face the truth. Maybe that is why I left a blank spot on the canvas. I don't want to know the end when everything is concluded. I don't want to know how the picture is suppose to end. Even if I can paint that blank spot however I desire, I don't trust myself enough... Because I don't know what I want anymore. I want to change for the better, but tell me why do I feel this way...

"But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough 'cause it was not said to you and that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you. Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?"-Chasing Pavements, Adele.

Things.

Things that are too good to be true, are usually too good to be true...

Documentary: Finding Neverland.

Around half a year ago:
Situation: I need to find a place to live for the upcoming school year.

Reason: Two of my housemates are graduating.

Solution: I met person E through one of my housemate, who was also looking for a new place next year. Found a location that we can sublease to in a house that were filled with people we both know: A, B, C, D. Since person C and person D are moving out, we will replace them.

Condition of future house: Dirty, some rough stains on the carpet. Bathroom sticky. Smells like weed. Cleanable.

Condition in terms of beer pong: At least once a month.

Also around half a year ago:

Situation: Person F and person G decided to move into a townhouse that person H and person I lived in. Person I is moving out, thus freeing up the smaller room for person H to move in and person F and person G to move into the larger room.

Beginning of summer:

Situation: Turned in all the paperworks for the place. Confirmed I can move in on the 28th.

Reason: My deadline for moving out is 12pm on the 29th.

Condition of future house: Dirty, condition roughly the same.

Condition in terms of beer pong: Maybe twice a month.

Also beginning of summer:

Situation: Person G decided not to live with person F. Person F decided it would be better to get own room, thus taking over the smaller room person I is moving out from.

Day 8/27/9:

Situation: Got a text in the morning while working that I can move in on the 29th and a reminder to pay deposite money.

Reason: Person C did not pay attention to my deadline.

Solution: Decided to move only some of my boxes over.

Condition of future house: Extreme dirty, carpet stained, cat litter, broken dishwasher, toilet door missing, hole in bathroom door and wall reeks the stench of cigarettes.

Condition in terms of beer pong: At least once a week.

Solution: Talked to person E, agreed if I found a replacement I don't have to stay. Posted listing online.

Reason: Got into an argument with person C about deposite money, I felt it was unfair for me to pay for the mess that was made before me. Person C decided to lag on move out to 5pm on the 29th, a deadline I cannot make. I have to head back to the bay for work after the weekend. There was just no way for me to clean the place up, while cleaning my own apartment at the same time. Even if the place was cleaned to a liveable condition, there are still permanent damages in the house. Funny thing, people were over playing beer pong that night.

Day 8/28/9:

Situation: Person F agreed that I can room with him for a quarter and take over his lease. I got three replies from the listing I posted. Had a friend talk to person C about my perspective.

Solution: Found a person to take over my room and paid person C deposite money. I moved all my stuff to the new location.

Reason: I did not want to leave my previous agreed housemates paying for an empty room. It was interesting because when I was at the office with the person that was suppose to take over my lease, the office lady told me I did not sign the lease. All in all, I felt somewhat obligated to find someone before I leave, though it is not really my problem. I paid person C because I did not want to have a strain in our friendship. I felt sorry for person E, because a stranger is taking over my place instead.

Day 8/29/09:

Situation: Person F is still taking summer session, therefore needs a place to stay. Decided it would be best to move to the small room temporarily till session is over. I would come up after two weeks to help person H move into the small room.

Sometimes during the week:

Situation: Person J and Person K were going to live together in a two bedroom apartment. Person K decided last second to move out. Person J posted listings online.

Day 9/2/9:

Situation: Got a phone call at night from person F telling me I have to pay rent by the end of the week. Found out rent actually increased because there was an additional person living in the living room, which did not make any sense to me. Decided it would be safer for me to write the check in person, also person H already moved into the small room.

Solution: Drive up to Davis the next day after work to sort out the details and help move my stuff into the room.

Day 9/3/9:

Situation: Arrived at the new location, person F already moved furnitures into the big room. Found out even with the big room, I have hardily any space to place my desk. The only thing that really fits is my bed and maybe my minifridge. Checked out the bathroom for the first time and realized it was somewhat dirty. Also learned the hard way that it is ridiculously hard to find a parking for my car.

Condition of new house: Slightly dirty bathroom, toilet has stains and the bathtub has some moles.

Solution: I was not really happy with the living condition, just the whole ordeal about the rent, parking, sharing a room with someone and having four people living on one floor. I decided to look around for another place to stay. That afternoon, I helped my friend moved his mattress into his room and then finally got internet to look for a new place. Found on facebook that person J is looking for a housemate, so I texted. Got a reply back instantly saying I would be doing a huge favor to take over the room. Problem was that person H already moved into the small room and does not really want to move back to the big room. In the end, I compromised by agreeing to pay the difference between the big and the small room to person F in order to get out of my verbal agreement living with them.

Reason: I did not expect person H to move into the small room so quickly.

Day 9/4/9:

Situation: Finished moving in my furnitures, slept in the new apartment for the night early in the morning. When I woke up, got a call notifying me person E is moving to a new apartment. Huge relief because now I don't have to feel guilty about leaving. Amazing how everything worked out, I am extremely grateful for all my friends that were there to help me through...

Condition of future house: Spotless clean.