UP UP AND AWAY.

"UP" is an awesome movie. I don't even know where to begin... I think UP might be my new favorite pixar movie. It is that good. Just thinking about the movie makes me want to watch it again... All I can say is within the first 10 minutes of the movie, my heart melted. The movie is so uplifting, I wanted to believe the house can fly up with the balloons in the sky. UP definitely brings out the kid in me, but at the same time keeping the story real and sentimental for the more mature side of me haha. Not only did I finished an adventure, I travelled through all the different shades of emotion. Anyways, I am not going to spoil the movie for people that haven't watched it yet so I'll just end this entry with one of my favorite lines from the movie, "I hid under the porch because I love you"... hehehe UP is soooooooo awesome :]

Overdue.

Time to take a moment and reflect on my life... I guess life is pretty good right now. I don't know why I say "pretty" a lot. What I mean is, life is good. But there is always that uncertainty, sort of. I just want to be able to brace for whatever that may come my way, for better or worse. I  know sometimes I am confused too as to how my brain works. Anyways, I haven't updated for awhile so this will be a long entry... 

Definition of cheating: 

So the other day, I was hanging out at this girl's house. She had a bunch of magazines, so I picked one up and started reading. Girl magazines are so dirty. Anyways, while I was perusing I encountered this article on the definition of cheating. The article in a gist gives out all these situations and surveys from the readers as to whether or not one is cheating or not. Example such as, is it cheating if: He was dirty dancing with a girl, sex-texting, got a lapdance at a stripclub, sleeping on the same bed with a girl etc. I know most of these are really obvious, but these situations got me thinking about all the other possibilities. Recently one of my friend broke up with her boyfriend because she danced with another guy. She then proceed to hangout with the same guy like almost every single day. Is that cheating? I mean the obvious answer is no, because they broke up. But isn't that kind of like emotionally cheating? I don't know the whole story so I am not going to judge. Just something I was thinking about while reading the article... 

ETD POP.: 

Speaking of cheating, I had my own unexpected experience at ETD POP this year. So, I guess I was taking care of this girl. We were both having fun, dancing was okay, massaging was okay, but all of the sudden she wanted to makeout with me and that was not okay. I stopped every single time, but I don't know how I feel should feel about it. Like, this is like the first time I experienced the "it just happened" dilemma. If you don't know what I am talking about, "it just happened" refers to the situation that happens in chick flicks all the time, when this girl really likes this guy, and he is seen accidently kissing with another girl? He tries to explain to the girl, but all he can come up with is "it just happened". I am single, so technically it is not really cheating. But I felt like I was cheating because my heart belongs to another girl. I know, guys are stupid. I should have never put myself in the situation in the first place. I mean nothing really happened and I was taking care of her, the whole situation could have been much worse... 

But should I tell the girl I like what happened?! A part of me is really bothered by this, I don't know why. I really want to just tell her everything, but I am scared at the same time she might view me differently. Most certainly I am going to tell her in the future, that I am sure of though... 

Extraneous: 

While watching the NBA today, there was a short interview on Chris "Birdman" Andersen. He was banned from the NBA two years for using cocaine, meph and everything bad. But now he is sober and still flying high... that made me realized how much I have going for my life right now. I think it is time to for me to end a certain chapter of my life. Life is wonderful and I want to appreciate things just the way they are. Anyways, today I finally decided to check out Susan Boyle's performance to see what all the hype is about. All I can say is she did not disappoint, her voice was very alluring. I almost cried viewing the performance, there was something magical and enchanting about it. The song was very beautiful and her delivery was spot on... I don't care what other people say, she is 47 years old. I watched the clip knowing the performance was going to be good, but I never expected the performance to be such a delux delight... 

Understand.

So lately I have been contemplating... a lot about relationships. Sometimes I wonder what is the point of it all? I have seen so many relationships fall apart. I feel like a part of me has become a skeptic towards the whole concept of a contiguous love. There are certianly people out there that are just pure pleasure seekers that never bother to stop and look for love. I mean I don't know... being single all of my life, I feel like I am always in search of something. But everytime the opportunity arises, so many thoughts and questions about the future blitz into my mind. Sometimes I feel like it is as if my mind was paralyzed by the idea of love. Where is the what, if the what is the why? what? exactly. I want it bad, really bad. I just don't want to mess it up because of my indecisions. Forgive me for my indecisions. The idea of love has been in me for the longest time, but this is all brand new...

Random-ish-ness.

I mean seriously what is the point of playing cards if I already know the hands... I think my head finally calmed down a little bit, which is funny because I have a midterm in four more hours... I am really calm right now. I don't even know why I am contemplating about random stuff at this odd hour. Maybe my head just want to take a break and think about... happier thoughts. Oh the possibilities... Just kidding, but on the real though I feel like I am passed the infatuation phase. No one really cares, but to me this is like a major breakthrough. I feel like I can finally act more normal and comfortable around her without overwhelming myself with doubts. No girls like guys without confidence. Right? right! No girls like guys that approach them awkwardly. Right? right! Then again I am ridiculously calm right now, I feel like I stayed up way over my bedtime for my brain to actually filter anything through... But reading my last couple of entries I feel kind of ridiculous. Then again, I guess that is the fun part of it all, the little mind games my head is playing. I just haven't really felt this way about a girl in a really longtime. There are still a lot of questions I have for myself, but I feel like as long as I take it easy I will figure them out eventually. So, just take a deep breath, no need to panic :] Happy face, I have everything to gain and nothing to lose...